Defunker
Call Button T-shirt

If you absolutely don't want to fly, wear this t-shirt (I can't imagine you being allowed on board in the US). The t-shirt description reads: "Unfortunately, this plane is going down in flames because the passenger in seat 12C turned on their cell phone mid-flight." I think even posting this t-shirt is bad karma but I do so anyway.
One of many great t-shirts from Defunker.

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